7 Subtle Signs You May Be Abandoning Yourself
When I look back, there are so many things I did and said (or didn’t do and didn’t say) that were very much automatic and unconscious in my life. I honestly didn’t think twice about them. It was just the way things were and what I was used to. Have you ever felt so busy and overwhelmed in your life that you’re literally just going through the motions and trying to keep it all together? If you’re anything like me, you’re answering that with an astounding YES.
I never took a moment to pause and ask myself: “Am I happy?” and “Am I getting what I need out of life?” When is the last time you asked yourself those questions? If you haven’t, it’s more likely you may also be suppressing your needs and abandoning yourself.
The problem is that it is so easy to get wrapped up in your to-do lists, the demands of other people, and just all the daily routines that require your attention…all the things that pile up and scream at you until you address them. While you’re quieting them down, you may be having the internal dialogue of “I want to get outside and go for a walk, but I might have to wait till tomorrow” or “I know I need to be drinking more water.” or “I’ll do something for that neck pain when things calm down.”
When you are the go-to person for so many people and tasks, it’s easy to put yourself last. It’s also encouraged in society because you are so “selfless and hardworking,” which makes it even more difficult to break the cycle.
Since self-abandonment is so sneaky, it’s important to be aware of some of the signs of it. How many do you experience?
Saying it’s “fine” when it’s not
Not accepting help when it’s offered
Putting off activities that give you energy until tasks are completed
Not setting or honoring boundaries with yourself and others
Saying yes when you really want to say no
Not drinking or eating when you are thirsty or hungry
Not taking any time for yourself during the day.
If you do any of these, give yourself some grace. You are doing the best you can. The root cause of why many people abandon themselves is due to subconscious beliefs about the world and how to feel safety in it. Often these stem from your childhood (specifically ages 0-7). That is why you may do several of them and you’re not even aware you are doing it. It has become all you know to make sure everyone is taken care of and that you keep it all together.
Even though these are subtle, they do not come without a cost. Often that cost comes in the form of exhaustion, burnout, stress, impaired health, and lack of inner peace. To release yourself from the subconscious suppression of your needs, it takes awareness of the ways you are abandoning yourself (which hopefully you have more of now) and a deeper understanding of the subconscious beliefs that lead to that behavior.
If you’d like to take a deeper dive into what is holding you back, book a call with me!